Mr Tabs

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First Birthday Wishes...

from a wifey to a hubby... Hee hee

Many many happy returns darling...
Hope to celebrate your birthday with you every year for the rest of our lives...
*muaks*

Home and Such...

The last 2 weeks or so has not been great, with bad news from home and of people passing on. Melancholia seems to seep into everything we do. As if what we were going through in NC was any much better. Heard from friends that while we were gone, colleague's parents met with a bad accident and her mom passed away and her father is seriously injuried. Soon to follow were news of a fellow trainee's uncle who had passed away and then her own dad coming down with a mild stroke. In some unfortunate coincident, i also received a call from my cousin who informed me that my uncle in msia has also passed away and needed to get in touch with my parents urgently. It was surreal being a bearer of bad news across the globe at 3am in the morning trying to reach my parents in china.

School has been turned upside down, literally because of the carnival and apparently some of my kids are NOT doing well, hence need urgent attention. Reports are overdue, no thanks to my fried motherboard on the old laptop, and tons of meetings have to be scheduled now that we are back. And oh, case conference is starting in 2 weeks.

On the brighter side of things, my mobile phone is working fine again and i am just glad to be home safe.

Sunset at Raffles Marina

Sunset at Raffles Marina
Originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

Finally all the actual day wedding photos are up in flickr. Wilk has uploaded them for me to see while i am in North Carolina & that was so nice because i am missing him terribly but the pictures helped put a smile on my face when i go through it. Wonderful memories and again, i can't thank all the friends and family who helped enough... because without them & everyone who took time to attend that day, wilk & I wouldn't have had such a memorable wedding.

Away and Life's Shit

Touched down in USA since sunday and life's a bitch.

In short:
1) Laptop's motherboard fried itself on my first day away
2) HP soon followed suit
3) Same with my Sony MP3 earphones

Seems everything electronic is slowly disintegrating once i got here.
I have nothing to work on... can't talk to love ones on the phone... and can only listen to my music on one side of my head.

Life sucks at this point.
Cant help but speculate that 1) i used up all my good luck for my wedding or 2) someone up there is punishing me for not having a decent honeymoon but spending my time working instead.

sigh.



help.

Wedding blooms

my love is like a
Originally uploaded by varf.

Love the flowers...

0 9 0 9 2 0 0 5

Well people.. we had a fantastic wedding and thanks to all the guests for indulging us by coming out all the way to �the end of Singapore � aka Tuas� and celebrating 090905 with us. I don�t think Wilk and I could have had such a memorable day if not for everyone�s well wishes and blessings (esp the weatherman, for granting us clear skies with no rain).

Viewed through the video footage and realized that i seemed to tear alot, esp where my brothers were concerned, once during the tea ceremony when both of them asked if Wilk would take care of me forever & make my burden his as well. Second time when the videographer asked me why did i get so emotional during tea ceremony in our bridal london taxi on our way to Wilk's place, third was during our wedding vows and last time was when both my brothers gave a speech each. The whole day i felt really touched, from the time my jie meis' helped me the previous night to finish doing my angbao postbox to my parents sending me off after the tea ceremony till the actual solemnization ceremony.

The outdoor setting was more than what we asked for and it was quite amazing that there wasn't any major hiccups. I don't know how others felt but it's certainly one of the most amazing experiences i ever have and i had all the people i love all around me. My only regret was perhaps not having a chance to taste much of the food though friends gave pretty good reviews (only hope they wont just being polite *heh heh*). We really love the flowers decor though we had to top up extra, but i think some things in life are worth it you know? Guess flowers are more important to me than say... a champagne fountain.

In the end, both wilk & i looked back at 090905 with great memories and we were just so blessed that we DID end up with the wedding the way we wanted it. Such as having a beautiful sunset buffet outdoors in tuas (yes abit far, but we can make noise!!). Or having our friends and my bros to give a speech than doing the cake cutting or champagne pouring (which felt more personal and meaningful for us). And even engaging a rock band to play and we got to sing live and ham it up for everyone. The songs we sang was orginally meant to be a surprise for each other and the band tried so hard to keep us from finding it out (both of us only found out there and then!). It was so cool and wilk can REALLY sing. I really eating my words now because i always tell people he cant really sing for nuts (I am sorry dear, now i know better & will only let you sing the English songs than Chinese ones).

Yes, guess we are quite the closet exhibitionists and despite our initial worries, our parents didn't looked too fazed by the whole 'unconventionality' of it all. But could tell, it took them a while to warm up... well my parents certainly did, judging by their impromptu 'upstaging' singing performance in the front of the stage with their whole CHURCH CHOIR! I wondered what went through my in-laws mind in that moment since they were not christians at all and was possibly shell-shock about the brazeness of my family (at least in terms of our apparent lack of stage fright).

Anyway everyone in my family went up on stage that night and that's the coolest thing ever to me. I am really proud of being part of them and 'inherited' such 'fine' genes. At least it explained the 'exhibitionistic' side of me.. Heh though i wonder what's wilk's excuse.. :D At the end of the day, no one forced fed us any alcohol so we are still bouncing and jumping around. Wished more people danced but guess everyone's shy. Hahaha. Well, they weren't so shy when a couple of our friends (15 or so!) crowded into our bridal suite and make us do such M18 things that we would be SURE to repay some of it back the next time they get married.

It was a fun-filled night, full of joyous laughter and we took that with us as we go to bed. No.. the reality of counting the angbaos did not even entered our head till the next morning so we ended the evening doing what newly-weds do... eating leftover crayfish and sipping wine in bed. :)

Oh incidentally... despite wilk's initial misgivings about expenses and all that (perhaps its because of all that 'non-standard' items like the live band), we did really well with our budget (at least for the actual day and i am very proud of myself - told wilk he shd trust me but it wasnt until the final moment after we paid the bills before he realized that his new wife IS quite good with budgetting). No we didnt 'earn' anything but we certainly didn't incur any debt cos the gift money from relatives and friends helped covered for the dinner, flowers, alcohol and band! So thanks to everyone again!!

Keeping track

I am not sure i felt nervous now. Nor quite as jittery as that day at the sushi bar. Perhaps the immensity of what is going to happen next friday has not fully settled in yet but i am hopeful that blind panic and fear would not be kicking in anymore after that day. Guess i am as ready as i'll ever be... mentally at least. Preparation-wise, i am still trying to tie up the loose ends. Wilk has been fantastic with his preps but seems to have his bouts of insecurity and panic as well. Just the other day, he woke up and told me that he dreamt our wedding was over, and the great relief he felt when he thought it was. I think i understand how he felt.

Neither of us is at the point where we felt we shouldn't go through with the wedding but taking it as something we have to do, get out of the way of, so that we can go on with our normal life. I don't think there will be a very significant change in things just because we are now 'married' as opposed to being 'attached. Maybe i am wrong but then, our lives for the last two years has been so stable that it seems we are practically married, judging by the time we spent with each other. So i am hoping that the 'change' after signing the marriage cert would be minimal, well at least emotionally.

Practical issues such as where to stay etc would be additional things to worry about but i think we got a good compromise on that so looking forward to see what will happen after friday the 9th of sept.

One week

Another week more to go... Lunar seventh month is over and today, first day of the lunar eighth month, we had our 'Guo Da Li'. Very simple thing that involve wilk and his male cousin bring over the cakes and 'Pin Jin' to my parents and doing some sort of exchange. Have not seen anything like it in my life but i know some people throw buffets and have relatives over during the ceremony. We kept it quite simple and the guys were in and out of here in less than 1/2 hour though initially it was quite awkward as we are quite wonderfully inept with traditional customs (wilk even had to call home once to check on the procedures). But was quite nice though, with all the laughing and hearing wilk calling my parents mom and dad. Not much things for me to do except take over the videocamera and help record down our 'ji shou ya jiao' attempt at Guo Da Li.

After the morning ceremony was completed, my parents left to bring the cakes to church for their friends and i was left cleaning out my room. Gosh... another five days...

Two weeks

2 fridays before the "Actual Day"... the girls took me out for my hen party down at clarke quay. Tremendous fun cos we managed to polish of 1 bottle of red, 1 bottle of white, 1 bottle of champagne and other cocktails between the 5 of us. Think they were trying to get me drunk (though i must say i did ask for a hen nite to get drunk in) by making me empty out whole glasses of wine at one go. And then the secretive 'disappearances' here and there certainly got my guard up as i began to suspect it wasn't just gonna be drinking that i was in for. True to their word, they got the live band at the bar (incidentally ran by Angie's friend) to got me up on the stage and sang "Cant take my eyes off you" with them. By then, I was happy and high and not sure if i was walking really straight but i did remember that the lead singer was rather cute (but others more sober told me otherwise). Anyway, it was a terrific evening and though the girls didnt get me a stripper, i had great company, wine, singing/dancing and just before we left, a big hug and a peck on the cheek by the lead singer. What a great party!

Getting there...

51double26xF
Originally uploaded by aurorin.

Yesterday, while eating sushi alone after gym (erm quite healthy la..), i suddenly realised that the wedding will be in 3 weeks time. Immediately my stomach felt like it's been hit by a cold stone mallet and i wanted to throw up. It was the exact same sort of feeling i had just before entering the exam hall of a maths paper. But that feeling gradually subside and by the time i talk to him on the phone, i was pretty ok again. Guess the pre-marriage jitters story is true then... though i didnt imagine that the 'pain' can be quite that acute and scary.

All the while i figured that there cant possibly be that much changes to our lives once we get married officially. At least not in the outward sense.. but since yesterday, the potential internal changes seems too tangible and too overwhelming all of a sudden. Though i was calmer by the end of the night, there is this nagging feeling which is hard to put a word to that continues to linger at the back of my mind.

Today at work, i flip open my online wedding album and viewed our photos again. Somehow... it helped tremendously in brushing away the lingering feelings from last night. I dont know why. Perhaps its how the photos managed to capture our happy moments and everything was so familiar that it did not seems foreign to me. It was a comforting, secure feeling that felt, not so much like i'm falling in love again, but reminding me of the times i am IN love and BEING loved by this special person.

This feeling is not the heady passionate kind but it is a very powerful feeling that seems to rock your own sense of being yet nothing quite moved inside. I cant really describe it well but i know that at least wilk would understand it. Sort of like how nothing in our wedding album would make sense to others but those photos are probably the most frank and private images that means so much to the two of us.

Fireworks

Was going to walk to city hall to catch the fireworks last night but somehow wasn't feeling quite up to it with the crowd that would be around fullerton area. In the end made up our minds to drive home from our studio. Must be fate. The usual turning towards home happened to just get blocked by the police, probably because of the mobile column going that way and we had to turn towards town instead.

Decided to try our luck going up shears bridge to see if we could go towards marina south and park somewhere to view the fireworks. It was around 7.35pm then. Turned out to be a great decision because we were stuck in a traffic jam going up shears bridge and by the time we got to the top, it was around 8pm and we found tons of cars stopping by the side of the bridge, right ontop of the river mouth at the marina bay area. Traffic policemen were around of course but they weren't really shooing people away.

So when the fireworks started, I was sitting out on my car window, having fireworks to the left and right of me at both ends of the bay, cheering with the rest of the drivers who had all stepped out of their cars. Having fireworks exploding just above you. Very cool, that. Right timing, right place, right moment. Once the fireworks were over, the traffic police just waved us off and it was a nice smooth ride home as i turned out of prince edward road and drove back to the east via kallang before the rest of the crowd around the Padang dispersed.

What a great way to end the evening.

Running around

The last two weeks has been hectic� a lot to do with running to the hospital after work and chauffeuring people around. It was only the last two days before I get to be home early to rest but inevitably, I never do get to sleep on time nor feel very rested in the morning.

Cancer, I realize is a terrible thing. To the patient� and not least, to their families. This is the first time that cancer struck quite close to home and I hope, that would be the closest it�ll ever get. Two weeks ago, a sudden early morning phone call from my mom from the china, alerted my brother and I that my aunt (dad�s younger sister) was in a pretty bad shape. She has been complaining of pain in her legs and was unable to walk steadily without support. Doctors whom she consulted told her it could have been a slight compression in her spinal cord and recommended physiotherapy but it didn�t help, instead she continue to lose control of her mobility. Coupled that with her problem with insomnia and lack of appetite, she lost a lot of weight over a span of 3 weeks. It seemed that in a moment of desperation, she had asked her daughter to call my parents, who were in china, at 4am that morning because she felt that something was really wrong with her.

Upon suggestion from another relative, we took her to Mt A to consult with another doctor who recommended a MRI to be performed immediately. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a brain tumor but at that time, doctors told us quite confidently that it would be a benign one and that upon surgery to remove it, it would immediately alleviate her mobility problems. We could tell that my aunt was quite scared about the news because just 5 years ago, she had breast cancer and after radiotherapy and chemotherapy, she has only been recently told that she is cured and only need follow-up once a year. Her greatest fear would be to undergo all those treatments again. But doctors assured us that she would be all right after surgery and so surgery was scheduled 3 days on the Tuesday before last. Being my aunt�s only close relatives, my parents came back to Singapore the night of her surgery, hoping to provide some help to the family.

A supposably straight-forward surgery which doctors said would only take 4-6 hours, ended only after almost 10 hours. And by the doctor came out, we knew it was pretty bad news. The tumor turned out to be malignant and not well defined, and though he tried to remove as much of the tumor as he could, he could not be sure that some of the cancer cells has not gone into the brain tissue or other parts of the brain. The news was devastating to my cousins and their main worry was how my aunt would take the news since she has a phobia of getting cancer again. The recovery process from the surgery was tedious and stressful as my aunt was hardly herself for the last 2 weeks. Each day, she appeared different and sometimes she would scream and hit herself alot, while other times she appear lucid & calm. When she was discharged last saturday, she became a little better though she still cant walk and is now at my place being looked after by my cousin and my mom.

After all the tests and consultation with doctors from NCC, it was confirmed that her tumor was spreaded from previous the cancer cells and she would need to undergo radiotherapy soon. Prognosis did not look too good though doctors did not advice on how long the treatment would prolong her life or would she be cured at all. Like my cousin said, its really taking things one day at a time. Guess now, we only have to worry about how to break the news to her and convince her to go for treatment before worrying about other things.

Big Mad Crazy World

So after we have 9/11, now we have 7/7...

I think it is disgusting, appalling, downright demented when people seek to blow up innocent people just to make a point. Life is already short. Why do people seek to make it shorter? Despite all the injustices in the world, can such acts of terrorism be ever justifiable?

I shudder to think of what the world will be like for my children.. or my children's children.

Alter-ego

studio-mew
Originally uploaded by aurorin.

UltraMew

0272nh050108
Originally uploaded by aurorin.

Collected my photos... Very very happy... Heeee

On the way of being wed : The Photoshoot

On the day of the photoshoot and we did some studio shots first from 11-12.30 of us in our wedding gown/suit in colour & b/w more for keepsakes and our parents than anything else. The bouquet which shirley did was superb. Very exotic looking marooon calla lilies and orchids.

Once the studio shots were done, we change into causal and went to bugis junction where we met my "powerpuff girls" from work for sushi But we had to take photos secretly there which was also quite fun.. sort of like guerilla-style photography. Very paparazzi and in the end the manager came by to ask us to stop. *heh heh* After that we also took some shots at breadtalk (again, secretly) and some places at The Edge.

Later we went to little india and stopped at our art studio to change into our 'bohemian' + tourist get-up before getting another group of our friends to go down to mustafa with us where we took quirky shots at the supermarket and toys dept (supermarkets and toys are a hugh part of our lives). Very entertaining, esp for the indian staff there and they were so nice despite knowing what we were doing, no one came to stop us. One of our friends even came down in his pyjamas and a tie after learning about our 'theme'. We had tons of fun and one of our regular 'prop' was a canvas that Wilk had painted on a UFO, which sort of hover around us in various photos. Very B-grade movie and cheesy but hey, that's us! :D

After Mustafa, we changed into pyjamas and furry slippers and went down to the corner coffeeshop near the studio with our friends for kopi & toast before. The look on the old uncles there when they saw us was priceless! One of the little boys helping out the kopi uncle couldn't stop smiling at us and my furry piggie slippers.

Last stop was changi airport, another venue which was meaningful to us because in the beginning of our r/s, we were often plagued with a sense of transcient and dislocation. I also remembered picking up wilk and sending him at the airport back when he was studying in UK and somehow, flying away and flying back always had a special significance for us, even til now. Our friends featured quite a bit in our photoshoot and it was wonderful having them joining us. We also had my fav soft toy cat and wilk's various ultraman in alot of the shots too, like a running thread which tied everything together.

We didn't take any photos of the wedding gown/suit outdoors because we didn't think it made much sense. The chances of seeing someone in PJs at the coffeeshop is infinitely more possible that a wedding couple sitting there drinking coffee no? Whatever make-up i had on in the morning studio session was what i had for the rest of the day and i tied my hair the same way i usually do. Not much fuss, just the way i like it. :)

On the way of being wed : The Photographer

Just completed our photoshoot on tuesday and it has been such a fun-filled and interesting day that i would love to do it all over again! The photographer is from The Pond and he was fantastic! We knew right from the start this is the kinda photographer we wanted after viewing tons of portfolio from various different photographers.

It wasn't so much about having beautiful images of us in our wedding finery... but what was meaningful to us would be to have photos of us that showcase our love, our lives, our interest and it is the truth that neither wilk & I are that sort of beautiful people to begin with! In reality we are wannabe quirky normal people wanting to be crazy artists and we enjoy being with friends, being alone and just being ourselves. So why should our wedding album denote us any differently? So we set out to find someone who can show us as we are, what we aspire to be and the kind of love between us. And we found him in Ngiap Heng, our photographer. Initially, we were seriously contemplating forgoing having a photoshoot altogether after looking at other albums but when we chanced upon The Pond, something just clicked. I guess it was his philosophy of creating albums which are meaningful to the individual couples and the way he composed his images that shows a little something special of the couple themselves.

We only met up with The Pond once and we decided on the spot that it had to be this or nothing. And we haven't look back since. :)

On the way of being wed : The Wedding Invite

The invites are out! Credit truly goes to Wilk and his wonderful design, and his friend who printed them out FOC for us as a wedding present. We had a great time setting up his camera in our studio and taking silly 'neoprint-like' pictures one saturday afternoon before taking those images to make the 'postcard'-invites for the wedding. I have to admit it is abit 'heow' but i really love the colours and cheeky shots of wilk & i on the invite. Perhaps we are really breaking with tradition here (think creamy cards with gold/silver embrossed letter) since our card doesn't even have our surnames on it. Was initially quite worried what parents would think since usually the wedding invites has both parents names and our full names on the cards in some formal sounding invitation wordings. Thankfully, both set of parents were okie with it or perhaps, since we have been doing things differently, they have just gotten used to letting us have 'our way'.

I think right from the start, it wasn't so much that we wanted to be "different" or that we snub the kind of weddings that most people have, rather we wanted to have a wedding that made sense and appeal to us. Sadly, what most people do on their wedding dont quite cut it with us though i have been to many beautiful weddings. I want to have a beautiful wedding too... but unfortunately, after talking to other brides or brides-to-be, our idea of a 'beautiful wedding' doesn't quite match up to what other people want. It is the same for the venue, the type of gown, the wedding invitation, the photoshoot, the actual program. It was a little tough initially because it meant that, for us to have the wedding WE would like to have, we really have to do everything on our own because there wasn't many people out there who has similar experience in the kind of things we wanted.

Still, no regrets because it is our party and we are entitled to doing it the way we like it right? So hopefully our guests will feel the same way too and give us their blessing.

On the way of being wed : The Gown

Well.. the gown is finished and am really pleased with it. It seems crazy to obsess about a dress but heck.. it is THE DRESS. The *hopefully* once-in-a-lifetime gown which you'll remember in years to come and probably not be able to ever fit into again. Shirley, the designer at Flamingo Bridal, was really nice to work with and the lady does everything! From designing the gown, the detailing of the gown, the hairstyle, the make-up, the flower bouquet, i doubt that there are many designers out there that is so involved in a bride's wedding process. Absolutely no regrets whatsoever, despite initial apprehension of not using more 'famous' designers. Looks like now i have gotten the cake and eaten it too, because i managed to kept the cost below budget and got a gown that i am very happy with.